


Hierophant: Caritas

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-04
Updated: 2008-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-14 11:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15387909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Give up that which you fear to lose so it no longer holds any power over you.Shinji/Aki if you squint reeeeal hard.





	Hierophant: Caritas

“I don't have any reason to go.”

That's what Shinjiro says when Akihiko asks why he stopped going to class.

Shinji doesn't even bother going through the proper channels, filling out the paperwork that says he's not going to attend school any longer. He just stops going, leaving all his school things in his locker (there isn't very much there anyway, just his shoes and his books, he's not going to need those now)

Akihiko is flabbergasted. Of course you go to school. Everyone goes to school; it's normal. You need to go to school if you want to get a job, go to university. Even if you barely get by in your classes, there's still other things there, people, friends, the boxing club –

Shinji has never been in the boxing club. He wasn't in any clubs.

Akihiko is angry, telling him he can't change the past and why is he wasting his life, but Shinjiro is beyond all that now. He's become an urban ascetic, meditating behind a dumpster in Port Island Station, rolling pills between his fingers like they're prayer beads. He's renounced all his worldly possessions and lives on less than the normal human needs to live.

If he sacrifices enough, if he separates himself enough, he can learn to perform miracles, he thinks. Maybe not the kind of miracles that would impress – he still can't dry towels in minutes with the heat of his back – but he has his small miracles, his three miracles that he performs for an audience after he makes his way back to civilization.

He can speak with animals. Koromaru understands, not in words, but with an outstretched paw, a whine, a lick, a clattering of welcoming claws when Shinji walks into the dorm (even when Shinji comes back late, Koromaru won't sleep until Shinjiro returns). He speaks to Koromaru in a language that Shinji doesn't know how to speak to humans, one of meals that he only makes for Koromaru, soft words, praises, and promises. Koromaru replies by making a warm spot on Shinji's bed, letting Shinji tuck his feet into the dog's belly to soak up the warmth with his toes.

He can move things with his mind. During the Dark Hour Shinjiro commits a ritualistic suicide in practice for the one that he doesn't need to do (Fate will do it for him). Again and again he shoots, seeing the same form emerge over and over, the portender of his doom. He doesn't hate it. He's let go of things like hate, things that take up time and space in his mind. He must keep himself clear, free of distractions. When he points an evoker to his head he only thinks of the fight.

He is enlightened. Above the kind of earthly bonds he'd felt before – no, he just has a general love, a state of love, _caritas,_ an enlightened love of everything he has to protect. It's a net, a vast dome stretched thin that covers everything. Focusing on one person, one bond – he doesn't do that anymore. He sees the big picture.

A net falls softly to the floor when its strings are broken. A tree cracks and falls when you cut it at the trunk. He's not being stubborn; he's right.

Because he casts a net, because he is not the roots anymore, he can give life. It reminds him of how he moves things with his mind – it isn't his gun this time but it's the same, he's practiced. Shots, one, two and he's down, his net dropping softly just like he'd planned. There's no break because he's fading so fast that he can't hear Akihiko crying.

Enlightenment means he's thrown everything away.

 


End file.
